Friday, December 30, 2011

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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.  It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.  ~Mark Twain
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Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier.  ~Dan Bennett
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Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age.  Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.  ~Tom Wilson
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Are we not like two volumes of one book?  ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.  ~Author Unknown

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    There is still no cure for the common birthday.  ~John Glenn
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    Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age.  Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.  ~Tom Wilson
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    The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball
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    Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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    Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.  ~Jean Paul Richter


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    Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life.  ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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    Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope
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    Birthdays are good for you.  Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.  ~Larry Lorenzoni
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    The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.  ~Jerry M. Wright
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    When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.  It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.  ~Mark Twain
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    First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.  ~Branch Rickey
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    Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.  ~Jean Paul Richter
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    You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience.  ~Author Unknown
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    Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life.  ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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    Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.  ~Author Unknown
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    He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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    The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.  ~Jerry M. Wright
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    I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich.  ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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    Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons


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    Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever.  ~Author Unknown
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    I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.  ~Author Unknown
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    Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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    He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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    Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968


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