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Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
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Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
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Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
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Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
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I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
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Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
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Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
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We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
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Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
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Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
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